He Goes
"Sometimes," said my dance partner as we walked back to her bus-stop, "if my lead isn't doing anything with the breaks in the music, I'll just go ahead and do my thing. Not if it's in the middle of a swing-out or something like that, but you know, if he's not going to do anything I'll just do it myself. Is that rude?"
Sadly and happily, there are no coloured belts in Lindy that let you know who's an appropriate "opponent" for you at any given time. It would be useless if there was, anyway, because sometimes a dance couple just doesn't gel - even when they have the same number of hours on the dance floor, go to the same classes, and would be perfect for each other if the world worked that way. So it's pretty rare that you end up dancing with someone who's exactly as good as you. Almost always you're dancing with someone who knows a lot less than you do or someone who knows a lot more, and it's often impossible to tell before the dance, sometimes even during it.
As a lead dancing with someone who isn't as good as you your task is simple: give them a fun dance, work out what they know, maybe lead them into something simple but unexpected if you think you can do it safely. If you're dancing with someone better than you, though - well, you just have to do what you can and enjoy the ride!
I love it when a follow puts in some crazy steps. Sometimes you get a dance with someone who knows the music better than you, and gets the rhythm into her swing-outs or her swivels. Sometimes you get someone who takes your lead and runs away with it - turning a tuck-turn into a double-spin, for instance. Sometimes, if you're paying attention, you get a variation that you can copy, and just once in a blue moon your follow does something that gives you a little insight for a new lead you can do.
I can understand it might be slightly flustering for a new lead if the follow doesn't do something they're expecting, but once your flight feathers have grown in there's no excuse for not being delighted when your follow does something fantastic! We're always being told that our job is to make our follows look good, who can complain when they take the initiative and do it themselves?
It's not rude. It's amazing.
She Goes
There comes a time in a follow's life when she becomes more confident in her dancing. She doesn't get The Fear so much when dancing socially (and may not get it at all except with certain leads) and is not only happier with her technique and musicality, but feels as though she's ready to inject some personality into her style.I say DO IT!
A lead I know once got my heckles up by saying he could tell where a follow had taken lesson by the way she danced. But in some respects he's right. I can see stylistic similarities with certain follows I know who go to certain lessons. It's not painfuly obvious, but I recognise a lift of an arm here, a twist-twist there....
Break out of the box! Take what you've learnt and make it your own. Make your dance a conversation, not a physical reaction to your leads' soliloquy! Show off a bit! It's fun for you, the leads love it, and anyone who happens to watch you at that moment will enjoy it too. Sometimes your lead will respond to what you do by mimicking a movement- and then you have a little in-joke forming mid-dance. I cherish things like that :)
Some leads actively give their follows plenty of space to do their own thing. That can be a little terrifying at first, especially if that's not quite where you are in terms of your own dancing yet. But, stick with it. The simplest move done with a playful enthusiasm looks far better than something complicated done with an air of uncertainty.
And remember, it doesn't necessarily have to be about showing off jazzy steps at the break in the music, basic things like playing with height dynamics, playing with half/double time, keeping your spare hand out and visible, hell, even pulling faces at your lead even counts! (Well, it does in my book...)
Some guidance on injecting personality on moves you're confident with-
1. Style it out.
2. Look like you know what you're doing at all times.
3. If all else fails see rule 1.
Now go out there, and have some fun!
Credited twice! Thanks! ^_^'
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