Of All These Things I Like You Best of All

He Goes:

When you've been dancing long enough there comes a time that familiarity with a scene or with a group of people bestows equal curses and blessings. For instance, finding that your usual class or social is busy with people you love to dance with and realising that there just isn't time to dance with all of them (or, alternatively, that your legs or lungs aren't up to the task - although of course there's something you can do about that).

Looking back on what I was like when I started swing dancing I find it hard to believe what a wall-flower I was. But as I danced more and more, though, two things happened. First of all I got more confident in my own skills. I still go to beginner's lessons, and I can now compare myself to people who're having trouble stringing together two six-count basics and think: "actually, I'm pretty competent". Secondly, I started to know people. Although it's the growing confidence that's usually associated with more dancing, the knowing people is probably much more important. After all, it's mostly fear of rejection, right? And when I know someone's name, have had a conversation with them, and they haven't rejected me offer of a dance in the past, that makes it all much more likely, right?

As your group of friendly dancers increases, you may find yourself dancing less and less with strangers and more and more with your regulars. This is good, because for one thing it almost certainly means you're dancing more, and that means you get more practise and (because you may well be in the same classes) you get to try out fancy moves you've learnt together. But it can also be bad, because you're not exposed to as many different dancers - as many different styles, as many different idiosyncrasies - as you might have been.

The extreme of this is when you have a handful of favourites - even one person that you can pretty much describe as your dance partner. When you get to that stage, you'll rarely ever have to sit out a dance you don't want to - and all the good things and bad things that come with friends will come in spades.

When you're dancing with someone you know that well, sometimes it seems like they know what you're going to lead even before you do. I've always joked that the trouble with being an ideal follow is that you need to be psychic. Well, it occasionally happens that my favourites are psychic. It's both amazing and freakish, and - I admit it - it may well have made me lazy some of the time. I find myself standing up more. I find myself relying on my follow to know that I'm about to hold a break in the music rather than giving her a firm lead not to go anywhere. If you and your follow have both attended classes together, doing two moves from a sequence learned in that class can easily go wrong - you might assume that your follow will go into the third move without you leading her, or she might assume that you're intending to go into the third move and might not wait long enough to discover that you were actually going onto something different.

On the other hand, sometimes this laxness is the space where creativity lurks. If you're with a favourite you're not afraid to try things out. You're not afraid to land on your arse (yes, this actually happened to me not too long ago - all my own fault). A concrete example is that I don't worry about screwing up what foot I put Spoon on when I'm dancing with her, because she's quick enough that I can't wrong-foot her. And if I make a complete hash of a lead, we can laugh it off. Then there's the fact that if you've danced the same dance four times in a row, there is both pressure and room to improvise and create. You can make the same moves subtly different, matching them to the song. You can try out moves you don't often attempt. If your luck is with you, you can surprise yourself and your follow.

The likelihood, then, is that having favourites won't make you a worse dancer or a better dancer, but both at once. The good news is that you'll have someone who can see the ways you're getting worse and call you out on them...

She Goes:

Favouritism. I'm all for it, actually, as long as you still make a point of dancing with at least one or two new partners. Otherwise how else will we get the newbies and out-of-towners hooked?

What I love about having a roster of regulars (if you will!) is that you get to know their style, their musicality, their favoured moves. Whether they'll say yes to dancing a fast one, whether they'll say yes to a second (or even third or fourth!) dance in a row, if they're a talker or a silent. And this list is by no means exhaustive!

There's a couple of leads that I get amazing eye contact with throughout the dance (which I am such a huge fan on, I can't stress that enough)... a lead who praises me at the end of each song (and makes me feel like an amazing follow), a lead who likes to get very close (that's salsa backgrounds for you), a couple of leads that are very musical and nail every break in the song, leads that love to give me space to show off... There's also leads that rarely make eye contact, the odd 'Mr Me', a lead that I always feel like I'm facing badly with but always says yes anyway...

Forgive me if I get a little over the top now, but I really do believe that at some point when you're familiar with your dance partner, your moves really do transcend the normal 'conversation' of signals and responses, and becomes an instinctive physical and mental dialogue between two people who know and trust each other. We've all had a taste of that as follows- you're in the zone and the lead does something you've not done before (or weren't expecting) and it works like a dream. Such an amazing feeling, and that surprised and triumphant look on their face shows they feel the same.

Did I go too far?!

Maybe I'm romanticising. By I do feel that way, not about every lead I dance with, although that would be amazing if that's what develops!

Keith and I dance together, usually, at least one night a week. We had a rapport straight away, and this has lead to our dances always being fun and intuitive. However, of late I've noticed that he's become a little lazy in certain move signals- not that it's particularly affected me, but I think keeping good habits and a clean technique is important (especially for leads) otherwise dancing outside ones social circle/ with less experienced dancers becomes rather difficult. Something we've experimented with is dancing with closed eyes/blindfolded. This is a great exercise to develop trust and to hone technique with a partner you trust. (Adding a bit of spice to your dance life, oh my!)

Like a long term relationship it can be easy to become lazy. Maybe lazy is the wrong way to describe it. Too comfortable? I'm trying to equate it...It's the dance equivalent of not bothering to shave your legs, maybe? Perhaps the metaphor is running away from me. But you get my point.

I'm not afraid to pull Keith up on a lazy tuck turn- but I couldn't do that for anyone else. (I guess that really does make him my dance husband if I'm nagging him and blindfolding him on occasion!) I would say that you notice a weak signal from your lead, as a follow, (and it may be for a variety of reasons, not just them expecting you to be psychic), then, at the end if the dance just ask for a firmer lead. Done.

You'll Look Sweet...

He Goes:

In the last post we briefly brushed up against (and then quickly apologised to) the good old Tandem Charleston. Short of aerials I think the Tandem Charleston (or Back Charleston, or Shadow Charleston) is probably one of the most exciting moves to watch, and also great fun to do (which you'd think would go hand in hand, but it isn't always the case).

It's also, for some people, super-terrifying.

Maybe it's all the flailing legs. Jig-walks (or kick-the-dog, or whatever you call it) are probably more dangerous - after all, during that move the lead and follow are actually kicking towards each other rather than in the same direction at the same time. But when you're facing your partner you can at least both look down at your feet to comfort yourself that they're where you left them. Maybe it's the fact that the lead is, for once, 100% physical. A follow literally can't tell what their lead wants them to do by looking - for most moves, of course, they shouldn't need to, but in the Tandem they don't even have the option.

As a lead, obviously I try not to lead people into the Tandem Charleston if I don't think they are familiar with it, but occasionally it happens that someone is a solid dancer but still not used to dancing the Tandem socially (alternatively, they may be pretty confident with the move itself but not too sure that I'm competent enough!) and I only discover that once they've been led into position. The good news is that when I find myself in this position, my follow's feelings are not hard to interpret, because they almost always express it in the same way: clinging on for dear life. I have yet to find a graceful way of aborting a Tandem Charleston in the early stage, but rock-stepping my follow and then letting them turn out seems to be okay.

Even when a Tandem Charleston starts off well, it seems to be able to go slightly wrong in so many ways. If you switch directions with a windmill there's a possibility of painful contact and getting out of time if either the follow or the lead forgets their back-kick. When the lead is in front it appears to be especially terrifying for the follow - I guess because in general leads are taller than follows and not as used to restraining their rock-steps and back-kicks.

But it's worth all the terror! For me this is the one where a focus on technique pays off the most. The way I've been taught to Tandem Charleston is with a good deal of space between the two dancers - a tricky proposition, I'll admit, if the lead is shorter than the follow, but still do-able. I find if I consider space first of all, everything else seems easy to get right:

• With a decent space between me and my follow, there's no chance of sleaziness.
• There's far less chance of accidental kicking, and
• I can choose whether to kick inline with my follow or slightly outside them
• It's super-easy to turn my follow out into an open position
• My posture is nice and low because I literally cannot stand up if I hope to make my hands available for my follow to rest hers on.

...your mileage may vary, of course, but it seems to me that that's a pretty good payoff for just making sure there's some clear air between the two of us.

In summary: Tandem Charleston may be nervewracking, but it's also great! It's full of energy, it's got a ton of great entries and exits, and it looks amazing. Dance it! You'll soon get over your fear!

...of course, then you'll get onto the next problem: trying to prevent your follows from always exiting with a frog-jump, but....

(From "The Devil's Panties", image copyright Jennie Breeden and Obby, 2012)

 

She Goes:

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Ahh, the Tandem Charleston. (TC from here) Keith’s had a pretty thorough shot at this so I’m just going to muse/ramble over this badass looking step.

When I first saw people doing this on a dance floor I thought it looked so flippin’ cool I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I dubbed it Swimming Charleston in my head! But I do tend to give certain moves different names (don’t we all, ladies?)… Kicky legs, betty boop, snuggle up…

But the TC. Having never had a lesson on it, when I was led into it for the first time I was terrified! One minute I could see my lead, I wasn’t familiar with what was being led but I was game… the next minute they were nowhere to be seen and I felt like I was flailing around blind and panicking! Distressing. I don’t like not knowing what’s happening and I like it even less when social dancing.

However, now I relish the lead signal that it’s about to happen, it’s almost like a little confirmation of my learning. If all else fails, I know when we’re going into a TC! That slight pull of my right hand and seeing you place that hand in your right hand. Just thinking about it makes me want to do it. Maybe I need to get out more. Anyhoo!

As Keith said, it’s a hard move to abort once you’ve started leading it, without just plain stopping. I always really appreciate it when my lead asks me if I can do it and if I’m comfortable doing it. Yes, there are some leads who talk to their leads about the moves! Controversial I know, but I’m a big fan of it. After all, we’re already communicating through the medium of dance aren’t we? And surely it's a logical idea? C'mon leads, ask your follows! It's not like you're asking to do something kinky! (I'm assuming you're asking mid social dance when I say that!) That way you can be sure of leading a move they know. Win win? I think so. Leads get to lead like a boss, (and not be like, 'did I lead that poorly? I hope they don't think I'm a crap lead!') and follows can follow like a boss, (and not be like, 'oooooohhh nooo i don't know what's happening, where did they go, what am I doing, I hope they don't think I'm a crap follow!')...

Once we’re in the TC, I still get mild anxiety about how the move will be finished… Are you going to push me out, kick away and pull me back a few times? Or will it be a butterfly lifting of the arms and a turn out? Perhaps we’ll do some windmills? Eggbeater? (I didn’t make those last two up, by the way) However you decide to lead me out, I thank you for your patience in advance. And yes, I'd love a second dance.

She Hears:

A bonus feature this week - a swinging playlist by Spoon. Get it inside your ears!: 
http://8tracks.com/smallspoonful/slim-paper-sisters 

 

It Ain't What you Feel, it's the Way that you Feel It

He Goes:

A funny thing I've noticed about some swing-dance teachers (not all, by a long shot, but a surprising amount) is a belief that ballroom dance holds are 1) rather chaste, and 2) make leading difficult. Most pure ballroom dances are a fair bit older than lindy-hop, of course, and the formal dress, rigid holds, and generally higher age of the dancers can give them a bit of a staid look.

But this is all smoke and mirrors. There's no clear air between the slow waltz hold and the balboa hold - which by a curious coincidence is exactly the amount of clear air between the dancers. A waltzer leads with his core, not in the way that a good lindy-hopper leads with his core, but literally - the couple are pretty much glued together between the groin and the solar plexus, so there is no way that he can move forward without his partner moving backwards. Most waltz leads don't involve the arms at all. I have danced with a few follows in class who felt a little nervous about close hold who would probably want to climb out of their skin if they had to take a "genteel" waltz. It is an interesting facet of lindy hop that for all that it can be a pretty hot dance, the basic holds are rather innocent compared to other dance styles. Which makes it all the more mortifying when something goes wrong.

I learned a move at a class last week that I suspect I will never use on the social floor. Not because it's particularly complicated or dangerous, not even because I'm super forgetful about moves - all of my normal excuses - but because approximately half of the time I did it, I ended up with a hand on my partner-of-the-moment's bum. This is pretty much a dance-killer for me - none of my follows complained, but I was busier concentrating on apologising than I was on leading. There isn't a properly nuanced word for the emotion felt at such a moment, the feeling of embarrassment over an accidental bad touch that would be enjoyable if intended by both people involved or horrible if enacted by one partner against the other's wishes. I was properly mortified.

There are some fairly common moves where the chances of inappropriate touching are high - almost any move in which an open position ends up in a closed one seems to be risky. A lot of my brainpower when leading lindy turns seems to go into preventing inexperienced follows from clotheslining their chests against my arm. Obviously I don't avoid swinging out because of the risk - that would be mad! - but it does worry me, and on those occasions when I'm guilty of social dance lecturing it's almost always that exact point about swing-outs.

Now that I've given the impression that I'm terrified of physical contact, let me refute that idea: I'm pretty cool with it. I generally enjoy the physicality of dance. But you only have to listen to one or two follows to know that there are some leads who enjoy the physicality more than the dance, and who seem to be oblivious to any subtle hints that they are out of bounds. While learning the back-charleston once, a friend of mine told me that one of the other leads was pretty much resting his chest on her back, despite her attempts to edge forwards.

So perhaps I spend too much time worrying about accidental inappropriate touches, but the alternative is pretty ghastly. The simple fact is that lindy is a very active dance, with a lot of changes between one hold and another, and every time a hold changes there is the possibility of an accident. A mistake won't happen every time, and not all mistakes are of the inappropriate touch type, but they will happen. If, as a lead, you feel a little embarrassed, make your apologies and try to dance it away. If you're feeling a little mortified it just shows that your moral compass is still pointed the right way. If you're not, shame on you!

(and follows, statistics are your friend - As I said: "a mistake won't happen every time, and not all mistakes are of the inappropriate touch type" - if they do happen every time, and all the mistakes are of that type, dump that lead already!)

it's a meme, offence should not be taken!

 

She Goes:

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Dancing, for some, can be a sex substitute. It’s fun, you only do it when you want to, you get out of breath, hot, sweaty and after a good session you feel really good.  However, (and this is mainly follows here), sometimes you get touched in a way that maybe you’re not entirely comfortable with… Maybe you’re not used to doing it that way, you’ve never tried it or you just don’t like it!

Yes, I’m talking about inappropriate touching. And it does happen! And I'm wondering if those leads who are repeat offenders in this case are entirely dependent on dancing for their physical contact requirements. (Incidentally I’d be interested to hear of any inappropriate touching that leads have experienced.)

Body contact is inevitable in dancing. If you don’t want any of that then perhaps you could consider another hobby, like chess. Some dances can feel more invasive than others, like salsa for example. Don’t get me wrong, I loved salsa when I did it for a few months, and I certainly learnt a lot from it in terms of actually allowing myself to be lead, but what I couldn’t get over was the proximity of my dance partners. It’s pretty up close and personal, and I was not overly keen on having a strange mans thigh between mine in that manner! That does not mean that any lead dancing salsa will be getting all up in your business, follows, but I can be a bit of a stickler for personal space in certain situations.

Tandem Charleston. It’s a super cool move, fun and one of the moves I most wanted to learn once I started social dancing. But what can spoil it for me sometimes is the upright lead- because I learnt this move looks best when you get down…. Can you see where I’m going with this? I’m bend knee-d, doing my thing, and my lead isn’t…and it feels like I’m getting down…on them. Crotch and ass contact. Yep. But at least you can't see me laughing as I'm facing away! If i can feel your breath on my neck I know you're doing what I'm doing and we're looking awesome.

Tuck turns and swing outs can also lead to unexpected bad touches. It can be a combination of poor timing/hand on back placement on the leads part, or not moving quick enough on the follows.  But boob touching happens. Mostly just side boob, but boob nonetheless. It happens! 

Normally rare, I once danced with a guy who touched my boob EVERY FREAKING TIME!! I couldn’t believe it! And it’s such a shame too because he was a kick ass lead. I didn’t say anything to him out of shock and embarrassment- I even had more than one dance with him because I was hoping it was some sort of accident, maybe he wasn’t on point that night. However, after two different social events and a few dances it was still happening. (And he’d just come and ask out of nowhere so I couldn’t give a suitably diplomatic turn down when he asked to dance because I’d be caught unawares)… It was very distressing. As a confident follow and female in general I felt soiled and disheartened. *frown* If I see him now I actually make sure I’m too busy dancing and avoid eye contact. I’m too embarrassed to have that conversation with him. Fortunately I haven’t seen him for some time now... but that doesn’t mean I won't again.

On the other side of that coin, a lead I frequently dance with once accidentally stroked my boob (it was a leisurely paced song) and he looked so apologetic and mortified, bless him, that i spent the rest of the dance laughing hysterically! Still dancing, but laughing so hard my eyes were streaming! After he was done looking uncomfortable he was laughing too. Proof that it doesn't always have to be awkward! (Thinking about his facial expression still makes me chuckle!)

Touching happens. Generally I have no problem with it; it’s normally an accident and if an immediate apology isn’t issued, I will pretend nothing’s wrong. (I think I find it easier to deal with non-facing touches so you can’t see me cringing or laughing!) Nearly all leads are very aware of what’s appropriate and what’s not, but that area of the body that isn’t back and mostly side can be a bit of a grey area. I would suggest avoiding it altogether leads, and ensure your fingertips are on your follows back at all times to reduce the risk of boob. And, if you do cop a feel, acknowledge it with an 'oops, sorry' and get on with your life. Keep your morals front and centre- after all, you don't want to be known as the Bad Touch Guy.

 

The Three Types of Lead

He Goes:

In David Foster Wallace's Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, one of the characters introduces a sort of rating system for men's attitudes towards their sexual partners:

• Type One: those who just look out for their own pleasure, who are treating the other person as an agent to be used.
• Type Two: those who are focused on pleasing their partners because they want to show off how skilled they are as lovers.
• Type Three: those who go beyond that to recognise the other person as an agent with their own need to be appreciated, who can make their partner feel like a great lover.

Now. I'm a married man, so obviously I don't know much about sex. But I thought this was a pretty interesting concept, and even more so when I realised that it could apply just as easily to dance leads. Here's how:

Type One Leads

This by and large is where everyone starts out, and it's a reasonable place to begin but a terrible place to stay. Type One leads are the guys (and here I use the term guys to actually mean mainly men, because by the time most women become leads they're already good enough to leapfrog this stage) who are focused entirely on themselves. Literally, in some cases, because the most innocent of these dancers are the shoegazing beginners who can't spare much mental energy for their partners in case their own legs leap off their bodies and twirl away into the distance like defective boomerangs.

It's reasonable to be a Type One lead of this sort, because - well, dancing is sort of hard. It's also sort of easy, but when you're starting it's very difficult to focus on the easy bits. I, like many leads, have a touch of male-dancer-disease (chief symptom: paralysis from the nipples up), so I can appreciate that it can take a lot of focus at the beginning to both lead and dance at the same time. There are people who never seem to get over this, though, leads who get too focused on whether they're dancing "correctly" and never get round to wondering if they're dancing enjoyably.

Type Two Leads

Becoming a Type Two lead is generally a matter of having overcome the initial difficulties of dancing and having had enough experience on the social dance floor to have come to terms with your own feet. A Type Two lead is stylish, he or she isn't a bad dancer and they are generally fun to dance with. It takes a particularly clueless person to remain a Type One for a long time on the social dance floor, but if you've become a Type Two lead you might never feel the need to progress any further. Why would you? Aren't your follows impressed by your leading? Don't you give them some jumps and dips and show them some feel for the music?

The problem with being a Type Two is that it's easy to get so focused on making your follow do all the moves that you forget that you're not performing for them, you're performing with them. (Personally I think I'm at my most Type-Twoish when dancing with a teacher.)

Type Three Leads

Without wanting to go too Zen on this whole concept, to be a Type Three lead is almost to come full circle and to be a follow again. I have heard that back in the day tango students in Buenos Aires were required to learn following before they were allowed to learn to lead. I'm not sure that would be particularly practical for swing-dance classes, but the idea is intriguing. The skill is in recognising during the dance what your dance partner is capable of.

If you're dancing with a follow who is better than you, this means a relaxed lead - and a hesitant one, too. Follows are always being told that they should not anticipate moves, but this cuts both ways. A concrete example is the one-two lead of a Lindy Turn. Some people learn that the lead-in begins at this point, most people that the one-two is in place and the lead-in doesn't begin until the first triple-step. Clearly for a Type Three lead the second option gives the follow more room to style their swivels, or even to do something different, and by waiting until the last possible moment the lead gives himself more room to change his mind. Perhaps the follow has begun something so complicated that it would be better to leave them in open for a few more beats?

Even if you're dancing with a beginner, you might consider what leads you can give to make them feel as though they're not only dancing, but a better dancer than they think. If a follow seems to be having trouble keeping in time, staying in a relaxed close hold is not a terrible option. But if they're relaxed, give them turns that they didn't learn in class but that use the same basic leads. If you see a look of amazed pleasure on their face - not with you, but with them - that's the payoff!

Like being a Nietzschean Superman, I think being a Type Three lead is something a one should aspire to even in the knowledge that one may never get there. I'm not there yet myself, but I have my moments... And it's a worthy trip!

Picture found online and 'annotated' by Spoon :)

She Goes:

Keith, I find it interesting we classify our types slightly differently!

Please note; These leads are not necessarily the same type every time you dance with them- perhaps it’s an off night for them- or you- and you should ALWAYS give someone the benefit of another dance (or 3) before you add them to/leave them from the mental list of dancers you’re digging. It should also go without saying you should not be afraid to ask someone you consider to be ‘too advanced’ for you- considerate leads will adapt to what you’re comfortable with whilst still challenging you. Also, I will admit I assume in general that leads are chaps and follows are chicks- but we all know this is not the case. I love a bit of lady leading- and watching two dudes on the floor- yes please!

Mr Me

A great dancer. Maybe you’ve danced together before; maybe it’s the first time. Perhaps you’ve been checking out how fly he’s looking with his follow and thinking you’d like to have a go on that! But once you’re dancing there’s something missing… there’s no eye contact, either from glazed over eyes staring into the ether, or worse, looking round the room at everyone other than you. (I’m a big stickler for eye contact. If we’re dancing I want to be your entire world for these 3/4 minutes as you are mine) A great way to bring focus back to you is to start a conversation- or at least make a brief comment if a full on natter isn’t possible. ‘Your move looked awesome’, ‘I really enjoyed that’, or my personal favourite, ‘I think about you at night’ are examples. (Obviously I’m joking about the third one!)

In addition to the eye contact, you’re not clicking physically. A sense of dissatisfaction is overcoming you. Don’t get me wrong; it takes two to STFO, but when I first started social dancing it really irked me that someone I was dancing with for the first time assumed I was at their level, and I found it distressing that I couldn’t quite ‘get’ what they were asking me to do- and they kept asking me to do the same things. What I learnt from that experience was to say ‘I’m unfamiliar with this, please can you explain what you’re leading me into, so we can try again’.

There is also a rare breed of Mr Me that is so caught up in style and their own repertoire of steps that regardless of your own level, on some nights you feel like you’re only there as a token gesture! My simple remedy for this is as follows. If your lead is a big fat show off- show off harder, and have fun with it! Twist hard, kick out, or shimmy and shake what your mother gave you! I can guarantee that there will be at least one person in the room envious of the fun you’re having.

Mr You

The lead who, bless them, may be neglecting their own levels of fun because they’re concerned with showcasing you as much as possible. (I find newbies are commonly here) And hey, let’s be honest, it’s all about making your follow look fabulous, but there can be a limit to it.  Too many spins and turns can get a bit dizzying, as well as repetitive. I don’t know about you, but I also want my lead to look like he’s having as much fun as I am! Worrying about your follows’ enjoyment level is noble and highly desirable, but the furrowed brow and muttered apologies, tense shoulders (I can feel it, remember) and general lack of smiling make me feel guilty for having a free ride of it. (Not all the time, mind, but most of it.)

As a follow who has dabbled her tootsies in the leading pool I completely understand Mr You- you  leads have so much to be thinking about during a dance! However, I personally would forgo a large and varied combination of moves to follow in exchange for less moves, showy or otherwise, that you are happy leading. That little look of joy and satisfaction you get when a move comes off well – and you all do it- that is what I live for while I’m in your arms. Lady leads take note; the fact you’re leading dances is super cool- and I know you can lead me into some cracking things- but I want you to get your kicks too, ya dig?

Follows, please compliment Mr You, not just when he leads you into something super fly and super fun, but maybe you like his leading style, his Charleston kicks or maybe no-ones ever lead you into that move before. Don’t make things up- but remember that leads enjoy having their confidence watered just as we follows do.

Hello Mr!

I think we all know who these leads are; the ones we really click with, we get their signals and they give us the space to do our own thing. A second dance socially comes as standard. Some don’t speak at all; some lead us off the floor laughing at their humour. We finish our dances with them smiling. They are often the ones who get snapped up straight away, but not always. Hello Mr is the lead we love to dance with; and hopefully we can help the other Mr’s get there too.

So, to summarise; take responsibility for your lead while you’re together. Interact verbally as well as physically. Say nice things to each other- a positive community is a happy one! Have fun. And remember- it’s only dancing….