Taking Steps to Taking Better Steps

He Goes

As we were walking towards the train station last week, I was having a little self-deprecating moan and wondering whether I was stagnating as a dancer. Perhaps it was the magic word "stagnate", with its connotations of weed-strangled waterholes, but young Spoon suggested that maybe my trouble was constancy of venue.

"You're a big fish in this pond," she argued.

Now, there are objections I could make to this point. I'm at best a medium-sized fish in my usual pond. Perhaps a small lobe-fin, or (since I also have the ballroom world to inhabit) an average-sized amphibian. The stately axolotl, maybe, since I fear growing up and wish to avoid it even at the cost of ridiculous feathery gills growing out of my ne-

You know what, I've let this metaphor run away with me a bit. Backing up.

There's obviously still a lot of room for me to grow where I usually dance - there's still a tremendous amound for me to learn, and I enjoy it so even if there was nothing to learn I'd probably still go there. But I suppose there's something to be said for swimming out into deeper waters.

It's a good test of whether one can actually lead, for one thing. I want to be a good lead, and getting out to other places means putting that all to the test. Follows that you've never met before, so that you don't know whether they know the moves that you do. Music that you've never heard before, so that you have to pick up the musical hits and pauses on the fly, not just relying on knowing them off by heart. And of course, gut-wrenching nervousness about asking people to dance, because you don't know anyone at all.

Of course, London's a big enough place that you can go to unfamiliar venues with relative ease, but a small enough place that when you get there you're likely to see one or two familiar faces. That eases the pain a little, but still - I only have to go somewhere new to be reminded of how shy I am, and how when I started swing dancing I took weeks to pick up the nerve to ask someone else to dance in the social, even when I was in places where leads were thin on the ground and I would probably have been welcomed. When I actually go to a new venue I find this a little excruciating, although viewed in the cold, rhythm-less light of day it's probably a good thing, because it helps remind me to be understanding of other people's shyness. 

It's difficult for me to be quite as active about visiting different venues as Spoon - I'm older and creakier, and married, and far out in the suburbs where travel into London is easy, but getting out again is slow - but I suppose I should take a little inspiration from the axolotl now and again: although under normal circumstances they never grow up, it does occasionally happen that they assume their adult form. Sometimes they just crawl up out of their pool on their own, but it can be induced - all it takes it a spoonful of iodine.

Look at this happy fellow!

She Goes

Keith, I love you but you are a special kind of mental.

I did say you were a big fish in a small pond- I also said you were playing it safe and not challenging yourself. I can't find fault with you being a creature of habit and attending the same venue regularly though; I'm exactly the same.

However, this lack of variance over time can be less positive. I can tell when you've been dancing elsewhere because you'll lead a move or add a flourish that isn't in your normal repertoire. I'm not suggesting that I'm bored with your leading, I'm suggesting that you are!

The thing is, I feel like the social aspect of this night is now as big a factor in coming as the learning itself. Well, it is for me, and I'm sure you can here at least in part.

But I'm taking steps- I danced in Not London on Saturday night- rocked up with a lead to a place I didn't know, and got stuck in. Maybe not immediately, those bowls of crisps weren't going to eat themselves, plus I wanted to scope out the dancers, admire the stylings, suss out who would be my first victim... But essentially, yeh, I was in at the deep end. Easier for me than you perhaps, as that's how I roll. But worth it.

It was like dusting the cobwebs off.

Dancing regularly in the same circles is something I love- this lead challenges me, this one is very playful, this one has a killer whip of a swing out... I knew nothing about these ones; it made me feel fresher than a moist towelette and a slice of orange after a scorching hot curry.

One lead started a play fight through the medium of dance within two moves! (A kick to the bum as a side-by-side charleston variations? Ohh, it is SO on!) One lead was the best part of 60 and had great banter, and kicks that could put most of the women in the room to shame!! One looked about 16, but danced with the skill and confidence of someone who came out of the womb doing the Big Apple...

All of these leads made me feel like I was a bad-ass follow, like I had amazing style, and like I was the most fabulous female on the floor. They hasn't seen my crazy legs before- they went crazy for them!!

What I'm trying to tell you my dear Keith, is that a change is as good as a rest. When you stop playing it safe and put yourself out there then good things can happen.