Gender Bending Ambidanceterousness AKA Going Both Ways

He Goes:

"Every time you use the words 'men and women' and 'leads and follows' interchangeably, god kills a kitten" - Fen K

In the tango salons of Buenos Aires it was not uncommon for male beginners to be required to begin their dance tuition as follows - only when they were deemed good enough as follows by their teachers were they allowed to progress on to learn the lead role. The idea of course was that only by understanding how the lead was supposed to feel could they hope to replicate it. Although Lindy did not originate (as tango did) as a male-male dance form, it's easy to see that the same benefits could be gained by a Lindy lead learning a follow's skills.

When I started Lindy-hopping it was perhaps a month before I saw my first male-male dance, and approximately ten seconds before I saw my first female-female dance. In contrast, the only male-male social dancing I've seen (and almost all of the female-female dancing I've seen) in ballroom was at dances loosely affiliated with LGBT dance groups. Like other dance forms, Lindy still suffers a little from an imbalance between men and women attending classes and socials, but Lindy seems to cope with it much better, because it's much easier to swap roles:

• Unlike Ballroom and Latin, there are only a limited number of foot patterns and basic moves. I still haven't finished learning things from beginner's classes, but I can easily swap to a follow position in a class and not feel like I'm missing out on important lead stuff. Similarly, women who normally follow can swap to taking a lead role without compromising their follow skills.
• Unlike Salsa, the relatively chaste hold of Lindy is easy enough to take up even between people that might not be amazingly comfortable with each other (and this includes different sex partners as well as same sex, of course). In classes as a follow I've only met two leads who were really freaked out by holding hands with another man (and said so), perhaps five or six more who were gritting their teeth and getting it over with but saying nothing. But you know what? They all got on with their leading, and we got through it.
• Also unlike Ballroom and Latin (and some salsa classes), most Lindy classes have a fairly strict and polished attitude to partner rotation in classes, which means that whoever you're partnered with you know you'll be moved on to a new partner in a moment.

I'd considered dancing as a follow for a while, and it was going to a class where one of the other more competent leads was a woman that made me think I should actually get off my arse and do it. I asked to lead me in a dance, and I discovered amazingly quickly that it was hard even to follow a rock-step. I am sturdy and bad at following. My leading lady (the source of the quote above), was slight - I guess about half my mass - and competent, which must have given our dance the appearance of a patient stable-girl leading around an exceptionally stupid dray horse. I made up my mind that I would take some classes as a follow so that next time I would be able to put on a better show.

I've now taken beginner classes as a follow three times, and some of the strangest things I've learnt are the trivial ones. How hard it is to keep your arms up and available to the lead is one thing. I've managed to avoid clamping my lead's arm under mine, mostly, but I have a new found sympathy for follows who seem to avoid taking my left hand. It is  surprisingly difficult to concentrate on ones footwork and on holding ones right arm out. It shouldn't be, but it is.

I've learnt more about the importance of proper weight change. When I'm leading, I know mentally where my weight should be at any point, and I can usually fix it. As a follow, every time I lose concentration for a second, I revert to lead footwork - rock-stepping on my left, for instance, at the beginning of a bar, which makes me realise how engrained that first step-step is in my mind. This is good, because it means I can put my legs on auto-pilot when I'm social dancing, but bad because it means that I'm probably not dancing that way because I want to, but because my legs are too used to it to do anything else - which isn't just a problem for following, but for leading as well.

I've learnt is how hard it is to turn more than once - the follows in that class were asked to do a 1080-degree in one bar (that is, step with a 360 turn, step with another 360 turn, and finally a 360 turn into a triple). Too much for me! ...and I will think twice about asking a follow for more than two turns in a row in the future.

Perhaps the most important thing I've learnt is how different leads can be. In a beginners class of 20 couples, perhaps four or five men are giving decent leads. In ballroom classes I sometimes have to tell my wife to wait for my lead rather than just going straight into a move. After learning as a follow I can appreciate why follows sometimes do that - because in class, whether you get a lead at the right time or even at all can be completely random.

"If you try to help them out a good lead might scold you," she told me, "and if you make it more difficult and wait for a lead that doesn't come, you come across to the beginners as a bitch."

Following as a lead I at least have one advantage there - having done it all before, I can offer lead-to-lead advice on what they might be doing wrong... although I suspect I may still come across as a bit of a jerk.

Oh well.

She Goes:

I don't know about you ladies, but I love seeing two guys swing dance together. Hawt! When one swings the other out and they do their lil' twist-twists? Yeah!

C'mon now, you know what I'm saying here. And chaps- surely you've seen two chicks engaging in a bit of mutual 6/8-count action? When I've been dancing with a girl there's normally at least one guy cheering us at the point of swing out!

I think it's useful to go both ways as a dancer. I believe it informs your own performance and also helps you give back to the dance community while you're learning your new role- because you can give more eloquent feedback to your partner other than 'Crap, I really have no idea how to do this, do you?!' You have a good understanding of what the move is supposed to look like and how it should feel in your normal role. This helps the newbie you're dancing with, I reckon.

It's also (as a people watching person) funny to watch the initial confusion flicker over their expressions. Muhaha!

I encountered my first Lady Lead (or LLs from here) the first week I started having lessons. I thought it was the coolest thing ever- this chick was clearly a badass follow and not satisfied with that set of mad skills, she'd decided to develop her understanding of dancing by learning to lead. Her reassurance and feedback in those first few weeks ('That's the way', 'Don't worry about that', 'Hey, I'm leading this move, not you!') really helped me have faith I was on the right path.

The angelic selfless stuff out the way- since I've started learning to lead I have realised how much stuff leads have to think about! (And may I give you all a high-five for the excellent work you do)... 'Am I doing 6 or 8 count, what step am I leading, what's the signal for that, does my follow feel comfortable with the moves, are they looking fabulous and smiley, what's the music phrase telling me, is there a break coming, oh crap that didn't work, what's next...etc etc!

When I'd first started learning following, I couldn't understand why the leads weren't smiling and laughing as much as I was. Now I get it; they were nearly going cross-eyed in concentration!!

I first led by accident. I rocked up to a favourite class and there was a crippling lack of leads... so I thought I'd give it a whirl. a few months later I'm still trying to lead in at least one lesson a week. (That's trying-to-lead, I'm not there yet!)

I think that it's helped my understanding of signals, their timings and counting in general. I never counted my steps before, and as a follow I still don't tend to- but moves I find harder I can now  appreciate how counting can help. I must admit that switching between leading and following in the same night is a bit mind bending, though.

So, this is all well and good, dancing with a LL in a learning environment, but socially it's an entirely different kettle of fish. I'm not really up to scratch to lead socially, so I haven't done much, but I have done it. I have, however, been led by a few LLs.

LLs can also fall under the different types of lead Keith and I discussed last month , and on occasion I've actually found that the more experienced the LL (as a follow) sometimes the harder I find it to follow them... do you follow me?!

They're such good follows and they might expect the follows they lead to be of the same calibre. Some LL have been quite aggressive in their lead signals, some have been so subtle I've missed basic moves. I suppose it depends on the kind of signals they prefer to receive from their leads when they follow?

However. there are some LLs out there, the Mythical LL (MLL!) who leads like a dream. She gives clear signals without jolting you, keeps the move repertoire at your level, keeps the pace and bounce, and throughout it all retains her air of femininity and softness in the role. I've only ever danced with 2 MLL. But it's what I aspire to as a LL.

Also as a LL I want to lead a male follow in some crazy gender-bendy hilarity. I've had a little go mid-dance, which was confusing as hell for me, but I will not be defeated!

Any ladies out there tempted to switch it up? Go for it! I would suggest that if you're still relatively new to dancing that you get a few months worth of following under your belt first, just so you have a solid base to build on. But also, keep your toe in the following pool- you don't want to lose your following know-how! But apart from that, I say get out there, mix it up, and have yourself a time!